No One Mourns the Wicked

So, thanks to the annoying itunes library in my head, I've had the SAME song from the musical WICKED stuck in my head for the past *counts on fingers* four days. Why? I haven't a clue. What song is it you ask? Well, it couldn't be an awesome song like Defying Gravity or No Good Deed. No, it HAD to be Thank Goodness. The song that I usually reserve for when I'm thinking too much or trying to make a choice.

My sub-conscious hates me, can you tell?

So many things are flying around my head at the moment it's not even funny. Granted most of those thoughts are about my annoying papers or things I probably shouldn't be worrying about in the first place. But then there are those thoughts that plague me at night and keep me up for HOURS. What's that question, you ask? It's quite a simple question actually: Did I make the right choice?

Such a simple question, yet so hard to answer. As of this moment, and I can't believe I'm admitting this: I was wrong. I made the wrong choice. I took the road most traveled and I'm hating every second of it. Yes, it has its nice moments, but its BORING. I'm not happy. Which is probably why that song has been stuck in my head for the past four days, since that song (for those of you who aren't WICKED fans) is entirely about being happy.

The second question: What do I do? That's the one that keeps me up at night. And if I manage to figure out what to do between now and Allentown, I'll be amazed. Seriously, I'll be freaking amazed. For safety reasons, I'm not going to mention what this problem is, though my one reader will know anyway since he knows me better then most (and kinda knows about what goes on in my head). BUT on the off chance that SOMEONE out there is reading this and I don't know who it is, I'm keeping details to myself.

This is one of those times I wish I had the Tardis to go back in time, slap myself and tell myself to be smart. For someone who likes the song "Listen to Your Heart" (no, not the one from Pocahontas), I didn't listen to the words much on this one. I just hope he forgives me and maybe will let me set things right.